Legal Marriage Options for Same-Sex Couples

Last week I wrote about how to get legally married in Massachusetts but I wanted to talk about the requirements for other places if you are a same-sex couple.

Here's the rundown of your choices in the U.S.:

State: Massachusetts

Blood test required? No

Witnesses required? No

Waiting period? 3 days

Can waiting period be waived? Yes, by a court order

License fee? Varies

How long is the license valid? 60 days

State: Connecticut

Blood test required? No

Witnesses required? No

Waiting period? None

Can waiting period be waived? N/A

License fee? $35

How long is the license valid? 65 days

State: District of Columbia

Blood test required? No

Witnesses required? No

Waiting period? 5 days

Can waiting period be waived? Yes, by a court order in rare instances

License fee? $35

How long is the license valid? no expiration date

State: Vermont

Blood test required? No

Witnesses required? No

Waiting period? No

Can waiting period be waived? N/A

License fee? $45

How long is the license valid? 60 days

State: New Hampshire

Blood test required? No

Witnesses required? No

Waiting period? No

Can waiting period be waived? N/A

License fee? $45

How long is the license valid? 90 days

State: Iowa

Blood test required? No

Witnesses required? No

Waiting period? Yes, 3 days

Can waiting period be waived? Yes, by a court order in rare instances

License fee? $30

How long is the license valid? 6 months

Where are you planning to get married? Tell me in the comments!

photo by Infinity Portrait Design

How to Get Married in Massachusetts

I've been planning legal gay weddings in Massachusetts since 2004 and over 50% of my clients come from other states. I saw a post on the message board asking what you need to legally marry here in Massachusetts and thought it would be helpful if I gave you the rundown...

The first thing you should know is that in Massachusetts there's a 3 day waiting period to be married so you need to plan to be here for at least three days unless you want to apply for "marriage without delay."

If you can be here for 3+ days, getting your marriage license is a matter of going into any City or Town Hall, filling out a few forms, paying a fee that generally ranges from $20-$50, swearing under oath, possibly showing some ID, and then returning 3 days later. On that return visit, you'll be shown a draft of your license to proofread and once you confirm it's accurate, you'll receive the license.

You then have 60 days to be legally married by a City Clerk, a friend with a "day pass" to marry you (instructions here), a licensed minister, Rabbi or other religious official, or a Justice of the Peace.

If you want to have a shorter stay, you can petition a judge for "marriage without delay." This means that after you go to City Hall to apply for your license, you then go to a Probate or District Court to go before a judge. You first register to have a case opened, then get assigned a courtroom and then wait for the judge to see you and hear your case. The fee for this is $85-$195.

You'll never know what to expect at court but when I take my clients to Probate court we often see divorce or child custody cases heard before the judge calls my clients up. Once the judge signs the form allowing marriage without delay, you go back to the office in the court where you started, get a certified copy of that form and bring that form to City Hall.

There are a bunch of little steps but the process to get your marriage license without delay generally takes about three hours. It's worth it if you are in a rush, only in the state to make it legal, or don't want to spend the extra money on a hotel room while you're waiting for the three days to pass.

One final note - after you're legally married, the State won't send you any proof so you then have to send in a request of a certified copy of your marriage license.

You can read more about this process, including some Frequently Asked Questions I get, on my website, www.14stories.com.

Can I answer your FAQ here? Please leave your question in the comments!

photo by Cheryl Levine

Welcome to Gay.Weddings.com!

Congratulations on your engagement! As a newlywed myself (I married my wife last year), I can tell you that you are going to love being married!

Now, I know that the wedding planning process is stressful, even more so for same-sex couples - you have to think about who to

invite, how much to spend, if you want to make it legal and much more. I'm here to help.

Six years ago (can hardly believe it's been that long), I started a company in Boston that was the first company in the U.S. specializing in planning same-sex weddings. Fortunately for us, gay marriage actually had just become fully legal in Massachusetts. It was the first state where gay marriage was legalized, six years ago. Now it's legal in a few other states including Connecticut, Vermont, New Hampshire, Iowa and the District of Columbia.

I've personally worked with hundreds of LGBT couples on their marriage plans and this blog is here to be a resource for YOURS! I'll be sharing tips, helpful hints and etiquette advice and I'm also going to answer some reader questions.

If you have any questions on your gay wedding planning process, please send the question to ask@14stories.com and I will answer the question in an upcoming post.

Thanks for reading and I look forward to hearing your stories!

photo by Kristin Korpos