Getting Married by a Military Chaplain

It's super exciting that the Pentagon will now let military chaplains officiate gay marriage ceremonies. This is in light of the recent repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

We have worked with many couples who are former or current military. In fact, one of our brides who was married last Saturday was a manager at an Air Force base in Afghanistan, and would have loved to have the option of being married by a military chaplain.

So, because we dream in logistics, some important considerations if you are interested in being married by a military chaplain:

1. First off, the chaplain has the right to say no, that he or she is not comfortable officiating the ceremony or if it goes against his or her personal or religious beliefs. So not all chaplains are an option for you.

2. The ceremony must be legal and you must live in a state where same-sex marriage is legal. Military chaplains are only allowed to perform legal marriage ceremonies for couples who live in states where a legal ceremony is an option.

3. The ceremony must be on a military base.

Is this something you would consider for your marriage?

(photo by Katje Hempel)

Gay Weddings on the Brink in New York?

I don't know about you but I've been following the news really closely to see if, once and for all, same-sex marriage is coming to New York. It looks closer than ever before.

That would be AMAZING! Fingers crossed that the bill passes.

Are you going to rush to the altar if gay marriage becomes legal in New York? Where do you want to get married?

How to Get Married in Massachusetts

I've been planning legal gay weddings in Massachusetts since 2004 and over 50% of my clients come from other states. I saw a post on the message board asking what you need to legally marry here in Massachusetts and thought it would be helpful if I gave you the rundown...

The first thing you should know is that in Massachusetts there's a 3 day waiting period to be married so you need to plan to be here for at least three days unless you want to apply for "marriage without delay."

If you can be here for 3+ days, getting your marriage license is a matter of going into any City or Town Hall, filling out a few forms, paying a fee that generally ranges from $20-$50, swearing under oath, possibly showing some ID, and then returning 3 days later. On that return visit, you'll be shown a draft of your license to proofread and once you confirm it's accurate, you'll receive the license.

You then have 60 days to be legally married by a City Clerk, a friend with a "day pass" to marry you (instructions here), a licensed minister, Rabbi or other religious official, or a Justice of the Peace.

If you want to have a shorter stay, you can petition a judge for "marriage without delay." This means that after you go to City Hall to apply for your license, you then go to a Probate or District Court to go before a judge. You first register to have a case opened, then get assigned a courtroom and then wait for the judge to see you and hear your case. The fee for this is $85-$195.

You'll never know what to expect at court but when I take my clients to Probate court we often see divorce or child custody cases heard before the judge calls my clients up. Once the judge signs the form allowing marriage without delay, you go back to the office in the court where you started, get a certified copy of that form and bring that form to City Hall.

There are a bunch of little steps but the process to get your marriage license without delay generally takes about three hours. It's worth it if you are in a rush, only in the state to make it legal, or don't want to spend the extra money on a hotel room while you're waiting for the three days to pass.

One final note - after you're legally married, the State won't send you any proof so you then have to send in a request of a certified copy of your marriage license.

You can read more about this process, including some Frequently Asked Questions I get, on my website, www.14stories.com.

Can I answer your FAQ here? Please leave your question in the comments!

photo by Cheryl Levine