When working with my engaged same-sex couple clients, I encourage my clients to answer the questions below and make a policy decision on each, rather than making case-by-case exceptions for individual potential guests. If you are consistent in your guest list policies, you minimize the risk of offending people...
- Are ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends invited? I know the lesbians tend to love to keep in touch with their exes!
- Do you invite friends you haven’t talked to in three or more years if the friendship has grown apart?
- Do you have to invite everyone whose wedding you attended, even if it was many years ago and the friendship hasn’t survived?
- Do your work colleagues get invited?
- What about friends from high school and college that you‘ve reconnected with via Facebook or another social networking site?
- Do you invite children? Do you let babies come?
- Do you ask your single friends to bring a guest? (a plus-one in Sex and the City speak). What if they are in a serious relationship but not living together? What if they are in a serious relationship and living together? What if they seem to have no hope of being in a serious relationship any time soon?
- Are friends and neighbors of your parents invited? Your parents may want to honor some of their dearest friends with an invitation—but then again, some parents don’t want to draw attention to their child’s gay wedding.
- Are your parents’ work colleagues invited?
So, who are you inviting to your gay wedding? Please tell me in the comments below how you answer these questions! And feel free to send me your own questions to answer in this column by emailing ask@14stories.com
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