Thursday, August 19, 2010

Do Same-Sex Couples Have Wedding Showers?


Traditionally, the mother of the bride or the maid of honor hosts a bridal shower (typically around lunchtime) for all the local ladies invited to the wedding. At the bridal shower, lots of gifts are opened, sometimes games are played, and sometimes the bride puts on a funny hat made of paper plates and gift bows. You don’t have to that, though it's a very cute and fun tradition.

Gay and lesbian couples who are already settled into a home (with several cabinets full of Crate and Barrel dishes), generally don’t want or have a wedding shower, as they probably already have everything they need. That’s great for those couples. It saves everyone some money and they are often very busy anyway.

Gay and lesbian couples who are just starting out and of a more typical marrying age are more likely to want a shower (both lesbian brides and gay grooms can have wedding showers). These are still often thrown by moms or by attendants, and some of the same traditions hold true.

Our shower was thrown by Jen’s mom. The idea was to do something a little nontraditional, so knowing the two of us, she threw us a dessert and champagne shower in the middle of the afternoon. The event was held at a restaurant that specializes in decadent desserts. Our attendants were in charge of the décor and the fun, so they created a “Bernadette and Jen trivia” game and they organized an inter-table competition. It was hilarious, and still very low-key.

To avoid creating a lot of attention, we opted for a display shower, in which the gifts are set up on display, unwrapped. Not only did we not have to be the center of attention while ooohing and ahhing over gifts, but we didn’t have to wear funny hats. I know our guests enjoyed this nontraditional take on the shower because it was different and fun.

Are you planning to have a wedding shower?
Photo by Michael Manning

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