Weddings Officiated by Celebrants

As my regular readers know, my favorite part of a wedding is the ceremony because of its power and potential to change the world.

Whenever possible, I encourage LGBT couples to use a Celebrant to officiate their gay wedding ceremony. Not everyone who is a non-denominational minister is a Celebrant. Those who are officially Celebrants have taken intensive coursework on world cultures and traditions and been taught how to use stories to create custom ceremonies. The curriculum is rigorous!

Celebrants are ideal for couples who may be interfaith or non-religious but whom want a meaningful and powerful wedding ceremony that is more in-depth than what a judge or Justice of the Peace may provide.

Our own wedding (July 3, 2009) was officiated by Celebrant Cindy Matchett of Meaningful Weddings. Our wedding guests LOVED our ceremony which told the story of our relationship, shared some of our favorite things about each other and incorporated our cultures. Last year she officiated our son’s non-religious baby blessing. We absolutely adore Cindy and she feels like one of our family.

I’m honored to have been asked to give the keynote speech on April 28 at the Celebrant Institute’s Collective Wisdom Conference. This conference is part of the graduation of the current class of Celebrants and I’m excited to share with them my perspective on the power of same-sex weddings.

If you are looking for a Celebrant, you can find one in your area by visiting www.CelebrantInstitute.org

If you need other help with your plans, please visit us at www.14Stories.com, follow us on twitter or like us on Facebook.

Photo by Infinity Portrait Design

Who to Invite to Your Gay Wedding?

If you are newly engaged and planning a New York gay wedding, Boston gay wedding, Provincetown gay wedding, or anywhere else, you first have to start by creating a guest list.

Here are some important Dos and Don'ts when creating your guest list:

Do first think about your budget. Feeding and providing alcohol to all those people adds up, so first think about how many people you can afford to invite.

Do only invite people you actually want there. Skip the people who you feel like you have to invite out of obligation - and you can even skip "plus ones" if you don't actually know who the guest would be.

Do set policies and stick with them. Be consistent in the "rules" you set. For example, are kids invited? Are co-workers invited? Are exes invited?

Don't let your parents/family be pushy about the guest list...even if they are helping to pay. This means that if your parents are involved in the wedding and want to invite their co-workers, neighbors and friends (which is pretty unusual, by the way), stand your ground!

Don't invite people who don't support gay marriage. This means that if your Great Aunt Ellen signs anti-gay marriage petitions, then she shouldn't make the cut - unless you think she's flexible or could be convinced.

Who's making the cut on your wedding guest list?

(photo by www.gfergphoto.com)

Gay Weddings in Restaurants

Gay weddings at restaurants can be some of the easiest weddings to plan if you are doing it yourself.

There are some serious advantages to choosing the private dining room of a great restaurant:

• There is usually no room rental fee.
• There is often a great chef with delicious, locally grown and seasonal food.
• Restaurants come in all shapes and sizes and styles - they're not generally a "blank canvas" so if you like their decor, you can save money on wedding design.
• The bar tab is on consumption so the party can theoretically go all night (or til the restaurant closes) so the wedding doesn't have to feel rushed.

And the disadvantages:

• There is often no good place to have the ceremony onsite.
• Many private dining room coordinators aren't experienced with weddings so there may be a learning curve.
• There is often no dedicated outside area if you require one.
• Many private dining rooms don't have windows.
• Most private dining rooms have a maximum capacity of around 50-60 guests so you may be limited in choices unless you would consider a full restaurant buyout (in which the restaurant closes for your party).

Some couples looking for a wedding bigger than what will fit in a private dining room still choose a restaurant. To do so, they have to buy it out. This means that the restaurant will be closed to the public for the private party and the couple would pay the restaurant a minimum amount (typically starts at $10,000) for the right to use the entire restaurant for the night.

That said, I've had many gay weddings at restaurants and they are lovely. Are you considering hosting your gay wedding in a restaurant?