How to Get Married in Maryland, Washington and Maine!

 

(photo by Kristin Korpos)

Now that marriage equality is the law in Maryland, Maine and Washington, here's the rundown on how to get married (note:  you must be 18).  Now, go gay weddings!!!

Maryland

• First date to apply:  January 2, 2013
• Waiting Period: 48 hours after license is issued
• Witnesses:  None
• Blood Test:  None
• Divorce Decree Required:  Yes
• Fee:  $35 and up
• Where to Apply:  Circuit Court's office in the county in which you plan to marry

Maine

• First date to apply:  December 6, 2012
• Waiting Period:  None
• Witnesses:  None
• Blood Test:  None
• Divorce Decree Required:  Yes
• Fee:  $20
• Where to Apply:  Town hall where one of the residents live, or if an out of state couple, any town hall.

Washington

• First date to apply:  December 6, 2012
• Waiting Period: 3 days after license is issued
• Witnesses:  2
• Blood Test:  None
• Divorce Decree Required:  No
• Fee:  $35 and up
• Where to Apply:  County Auditor's office

Ask the Wedding Planner

I wanted to make myself available to answer any of your wedding planning questions! I've been planning gay weddings for about 8 years now and have pretty much seen it all! I'd love to answer whatever questions you may have about your big day!

Please leave any questions in the comments and I'll respond in an upcoming post, or email me your question and I'll answer it promptly!

Questions to Ask Before Hiring a Wedding Photographer

Wedding photography is a huge investment but after the wedding is over, the photos remain. It's important to choose the right photographer, not only someone whose personality clicks with yours, but also someone who you trust. As you interview wedding photographers, be sure to ask the following questions:

* Have you shot a gay wedding before?

* How would you describe your style?

* How many photos do you shoot at a typical wedding?

* Do we get proofs of the images?

* Are proofs digital proofs or paper proofs?

* What level of editing do you provide photos before we receive them? Do you do color correction, crop out EXIT signs, and the like?

* Do we get full use of high-resolution images after the wedding?

* Do we book an album through you or can we make our own?

* How long does it take for you to give us the high-resolution wedding photos?

* How long does it take for you to produce an album?

* What is your backup plan in case of emergency?

* Do you offer an assistant and if so, for what price?

* Do you offer an engagement photo shoot and if so, for what price?

* How many weddings do you shoot in a weekend?

* How is your pricing structured?

Enjoy the process of looking through the portfolio of wedding photographers - you may find inspiration for you own weddings!

Who did you choose to be your wedding photographer?

Provincetown Weddings

What's not to love about Provincetown? Same-sex marriage is fully legal there. It has great beaches, fantastic restaurants and a rich nightlife and art scene.

There are tons of inns and bed and breakfasts for every budget and your guests can easily turn your wedding into a vacation.

I plan a bunch of weddings in Ptown every year and it's one of my favorite places for a wedding. The vibe is so casual but you can also do a really elegant wedding. We do a lot of elegant-beachy weddings, like my brides Gail and Paula, to the left. They were married at The Red Inn.

My only word of warning: July and August are peak months in Ptown and many inns require 5 night minimum stays. The Red Inn and some of Ptown's other wedding venues won't offer their spaces for weddings during those months.

Photo by Julia Cumes

Restaurant Weddings

Over the weekend, I had a small gay wedding with 30 guests at a restaurant in Harvard Square, Cambridge, Massachusetts. It was great! Ceremony and cocktail hour were held in the outdoor patio area before the restaurant was open for dinner. Then the brides and their guests ate dinner in the restaurant's private dining room.

Restaurant weddings can bring you the best of everything: a cool space that doesn't need a lot of decorating; delicious, seasonal food; and great cocktails! Typically restaurant wedding require a food and beverage minimum (if held in a private dining room) or a flat fee restaurant buyout rate (if you take over the entire restaurant).

Is your wedding being held in a restaurant?

Photo by Kristin Korpos

Gay Wedding Fatigue? Never!

Gay weddings are a very good thing. I plan them for a living. So when I read this weekend's New York Times story on gay wedding fatigue, I was naturally annoyed.

I get it, but just a little bit. Weddings can be expensive and annoying for guests... but you see, when the rights of a minority group are withheld, of course there's going to be pent-up demand and a subsequent surge when rights are granted.

I would hardly call this a bad thing. None of the "fatigued" mentioned in the article indicated they'd been to more than a dozen gay weddings even in the past year. The author has been to six gay weddings with two more coming up -- so eight in two years. Not a big deal in my opinion. We've all been to loads of straight weddings over the years. Suck it up -- or don't. You don't have to go! We all have busy Saturday nights... This is a good problem to have.

The author did give some humorous examples of some of the antics of gay weddings. I happen to love the way the dance floor inevitably gets packed during "Dancing Queen" and I, too, may have rolled my eyes at "Love Will Build a Bridge" but the fact remains, that these weddings are incredibly emotional and joyous.

See, these couples FINALLY get these rights -- and given the history in America of same-sex marriage rights being granted and then stripped away (i.e. Maine, California) -- or possibly stripped away this November (Maryland, Washington), who wouldn't want to rush to the altar?! Granted, New York's law has been more stable than other states, but still, some same-sex couples have that fear.

At this point in my career, I've been to hundreds of gay weddings -- the little ones on a Tuesday afternoon with just a few guests in the park, and the big bashes with drag queens and show girls. I had one of those myself. And honestly, they are still emotional for me. That feeling of "Finally!" is transcendent. That feeling of "Finally!" is what truly separates gay from straight weddings. Us same-sex couples don't take our rights for granted. That emotion makes for amazing marriage ceremonies -- which then lead to truly off-the-hook receptions!

Even if, as in the op-ed's example, there is an occasional nude gay wedding on Fire Island, or a wedding where all the guests are required to submit a photo of their planned outfit in advance for approval, which might be a lot to ask of your guests, I can promise them that it'll be one hell of a party.

photo by Closed Circle Photography

Gay Weddings in Episcopal Churches

Did you hear the news that the Episcopal Church is allowing Priests to bless gay marriage ceremonies?

It's not a case for full marriage - and Priests can certainly opt-out - but this is great progress for one of the largest churches in the U.S. Priests can bless the service but stop short of making the formal marriage pronouncement, which needs to be made by someone else authorized to do so, such as a Justice of the Peace.

I personally love gay weddings in churches. I grew up VERY Catholic and while I'm not religious at all now, I am particularly moved and emotional by our ceremonies that happen in churches. Maybe now they can happen a little more often...