Provincetown Weddings

What's not to love about Provincetown? Same-sex marriage is fully legal there. It has great beaches, fantastic restaurants and a rich nightlife and art scene.

There are tons of inns and bed and breakfasts for every budget and your guests can easily turn your wedding into a vacation.

I plan a bunch of weddings in Ptown every year and it's one of my favorite places for a wedding. The vibe is so casual but you can also do a really elegant wedding. We do a lot of elegant-beachy weddings, like my brides Gail and Paula, to the left. They were married at The Red Inn.

My only word of warning: July and August are peak months in Ptown and many inns require 5 night minimum stays. The Red Inn and some of Ptown's other wedding venues won't offer their spaces for weddings during those months.

Photo by Julia Cumes

Restaurant Weddings

Over the weekend, I had a small gay wedding with 30 guests at a restaurant in Harvard Square, Cambridge, Massachusetts. It was great! Ceremony and cocktail hour were held in the outdoor patio area before the restaurant was open for dinner. Then the brides and their guests ate dinner in the restaurant's private dining room.

Restaurant weddings can bring you the best of everything: a cool space that doesn't need a lot of decorating; delicious, seasonal food; and great cocktails! Typically restaurant wedding require a food and beverage minimum (if held in a private dining room) or a flat fee restaurant buyout rate (if you take over the entire restaurant).

Is your wedding being held in a restaurant?

Photo by Kristin Korpos

Gay Wedding Fatigue? Never!

Gay weddings are a very good thing. I plan them for a living. So when I read this weekend's New York Times story on gay wedding fatigue, I was naturally annoyed.

I get it, but just a little bit. Weddings can be expensive and annoying for guests... but you see, when the rights of a minority group are withheld, of course there's going to be pent-up demand and a subsequent surge when rights are granted.

I would hardly call this a bad thing. None of the "fatigued" mentioned in the article indicated they'd been to more than a dozen gay weddings even in the past year. The author has been to six gay weddings with two more coming up -- so eight in two years. Not a big deal in my opinion. We've all been to loads of straight weddings over the years. Suck it up -- or don't. You don't have to go! We all have busy Saturday nights... This is a good problem to have.

The author did give some humorous examples of some of the antics of gay weddings. I happen to love the way the dance floor inevitably gets packed during "Dancing Queen" and I, too, may have rolled my eyes at "Love Will Build a Bridge" but the fact remains, that these weddings are incredibly emotional and joyous.

See, these couples FINALLY get these rights -- and given the history in America of same-sex marriage rights being granted and then stripped away (i.e. Maine, California) -- or possibly stripped away this November (Maryland, Washington), who wouldn't want to rush to the altar?! Granted, New York's law has been more stable than other states, but still, some same-sex couples have that fear.

At this point in my career, I've been to hundreds of gay weddings -- the little ones on a Tuesday afternoon with just a few guests in the park, and the big bashes with drag queens and show girls. I had one of those myself. And honestly, they are still emotional for me. That feeling of "Finally!" is transcendent. That feeling of "Finally!" is what truly separates gay from straight weddings. Us same-sex couples don't take our rights for granted. That emotion makes for amazing marriage ceremonies -- which then lead to truly off-the-hook receptions!

Even if, as in the op-ed's example, there is an occasional nude gay wedding on Fire Island, or a wedding where all the guests are required to submit a photo of their planned outfit in advance for approval, which might be a lot to ask of your guests, I can promise them that it'll be one hell of a party.

photo by Closed Circle Photography

Gay Weddings in Episcopal Churches

Did you hear the news that the Episcopal Church is allowing Priests to bless gay marriage ceremonies?

It's not a case for full marriage - and Priests can certainly opt-out - but this is great progress for one of the largest churches in the U.S. Priests can bless the service but stop short of making the formal marriage pronouncement, which needs to be made by someone else authorized to do so, such as a Justice of the Peace.

I personally love gay weddings in churches. I grew up VERY Catholic and while I'm not religious at all now, I am particularly moved and emotional by our ceremonies that happen in churches. Maybe now they can happen a little more often...

Seamless Wedding Stationery

A few years ago, I planned a wedding at a summer camp. It's always fun to transform a space and in this case, we turned a camp dining hall into a wedding ballroom for the main event.

To the left you can see a photo of one of the dinner tables, each the name of a vegetable. We had a graphic designer named J Sherman Studio create custom design for all of the stationery elements - the invitations, table name signs, escort cards and so forth. The design was seamless and branded their wedding.

You can see more photos of the wedding right here!

Are you planning to "brand" your wedding?

To Elope or to Have a Wedding?

There have been about 70,000 legal same sex marriages performed in the U.S. since 2004 . That's a lot for sure, but I'm willing to bet (and I wish I had data on this) that many of those couples had a marriage ceremony, not a big gay wedding. I met a couple recently who like many couples, had a brief marriage in the Arlington Street Church in Boston that first week they were legal, when the ASC was holding marriage ceremonies every 15 minutes. I've personally helped many couples with similar ceremonies through my company's elopement packages.

I've noticed this subject as a debate among couples, especially those who never grew up thinking it would be possible to marry, or never envisioned their own wedding. I've met many couples who are unsure whether they want a wedding, or where one partner is trying to convince the other on the subject. In the beginning, back in 2004, many couples I worked with were in their 40s and 50s and there was enormous pent up demand for marriage. In the past couple of years, many couples I work with are in their 20s and early 30s - which is around my age and the average age couples in general marry in Massachusetts.

So what do you do - have a marriage ceremony/elopement or have a wedding? Of course, weddings cost a lot of money with the national average somewhere around $22,000. But I have a lot of experience with weddings and there is nothing more moving to me, still, to this day, than seeing a gay or lesbian couple stand up in front of their friends and family, and get legally married. And the validation and support they receive from their guests is truly priceless. The key word is validation. Gay weddings are jubilant. There is a sense of triumph. And I feel like there is no greater party.

I understand the desire to elope or to keep it small. Many brides (or grooms) don't like being the center of attention or simply can't or don't want to spend the money or deal with the planning stress. And I'll never try to convince a couple otherwise. That validation from "community" isn't something everyone needs.

So how do you reach a resolution? What did you decide? Are you having a marriage or a wedding?

The Post-Elopement Party for Same-Sex Couples

I work with many couples who live in other states. Some come to Massachusetts or New York or anywhere else gay marriage is legal for a basic elopement which just includes getting their marriage license in one day and having the wedding ceremony performed for them. Some want to add on cake, professional photography and accommodations. And some will bring 50 of their nearest and dearest for a big wedding celebration (for which the Massachusetts economy thanks them).

I've done it all, and it's always a great time. But I've noticed that many couples I work with on the elopements choose to celebrate their marriage with a party back in their home state. It's a nice compromise since it is often hard to get all of your loved ones to your chosen destination.

I was with two ladies this morning from New Mexico who are marrying on July 4 and will have a party back home later this summer. They'll have the privacy and discretion of their own marriage and then celebrate with an event that is more of a party than a wedding - and that is exactly their style.

If you are planning to marry in a destination where gay marriage is legal, are you planning to then have a party or wedding reception for your friends and family once you return to your home state? Tell me about it in the comments!